Measurement of workplace co-dependency in solving Low Employee Productivity

When we think about co-dependency, we often think about it in terms of family or social relationship dynamics. But you may be surprised to hear that workplace

co-dependency is in fact a huge concern and a major topic of Human Capital Management studies for a few decades. Interestingly, there is research in support of the fact that in leader-follower relationships, without intentional calculation, we tend to detect, assess, and pick or eliminate leadership based on none co-dependent tendencies. In this three-part series blog, we will discuss the various myriads of co-dependency as a dysfunction in the work-place, taking a deep dive into the forms it manifests itself in the workforce, and also discuss and analyze how co-dependency could in fact exist in the leadership role.

The Real Cost of Codependency in the workplace

 Variables such as absenteeism, turnover, presenteeism (present but not productive), as well as conflict and medical related costs while at work are huge costs, eating at the bottom-line of organizations, and yet, they are not so easily uncovered. This is because a majority of organizations, measure employee engagement as a way of measuring employee productivity and in truth, a codependent employee is in fact one of the most engaged employees. The trouble is, what we would consider as healthy engagement, where the employee is task driven and objective in this case translates to an employee who is most relationship oriented and very subjective in communication and their assessment of threats. The Codependent employee works very hard, but unfortunately lacks the emotion regulation to work smart. They are always the first to arrive at work and the last to depart, but they will most likely be on a hamster wheel because the balancing of emotions will highly determine their level of attention and self-efficacy.

Also, depending on which type of codependent we are referring to, the dynamic of the dysfunction will be different, as we will be discussed in our next blog of this series.

What is Co-dependency

In discussing the topic in more detail or better, helping you navigate through it whether you are a leader, business owner, or an employee, I would like to start by first giving you an overview of what co-dependency, this loosely utilized term actually means. The American Psychological Association (APA), the governing body of psychological practice within the U.S. and as well as the Diagnostic Statistical Manual DSM IV do not consider codependence to be an actual psychological disorder and hence offer a very limited definition. However, professionals such as Karen Horney a pioneer Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst of Social Theory, whom have worked many years with this population believe it to be a real condition, with very real symptoms and resulting outcomes, which impact daily living. According to Karen Horney’s definition, “the codependent person is fixated on another person for approval, sustenance, and so on.” Other scholars and researchers have defined the dynamics as “the disease of a lost self (Whitfield, Charles 1987) and (Lancer, Darlene 2012) Codependent relationships are marked by intimacy problems, dependency, control (including caretaking) denial, dysfunctional communication and difficulties with setting boundaries, low self emotional awareness and regulation, obsessivity and/or compulsivity as well as high reactivity to the actions of others.

Marked Characteristics of a Co-Dependent in the Workplace

  1. Constant approval seeking
  2. Low self-esteem
  3. Dependency on the supervisor or co-worker(s) for value affirmation
  4. Oversensitivity to feedback
  5. Excessive ownership or responsibility for workload and at risk for burnout
  6. Difficulties with separation of personal vs. work related issues
  7. Excessive feelings of guilt for not meeting the expectations of others
  8. Oversensitivity and obsession with other’s comments resulting in time management , and conflict-resolution difficulties and fragile co-worker relationships
  9. Heightened levels of stress than other co-workers
  10. More likely to quit (Voluntary Turnover)
  11. Magnified feelings of fear, anger, anxiety, and shame due to work-related stress
  12. Overall less productive in the workplace
  13. More prone to illness

The Real Challenges in the Workplace


The difficulty with co-dependency is that although the behaviors in and of themselves could be considered “harmless” Unresolved patterns of codependency can lead to more serious problems like alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, sex addition, psychosomatic illnesses, and other self-sabotaging behaviors. People with codependency are also more likely to attract abuse from aggressive individuals, more likely to stay in stressful jobs or relationships, less likely to seek medical attention when needed and are also less likely to receive promotions. In fact, they tend to earn less money than those without codependency patterns.


As you can see, co-dependency is way more complex than one might imagine. And especially in the work place, due to the socio-political work environment, the dysfunctional aspects of co-dependency are definitely a minefield.   The positive news however is that unlike some personality and mental disorders, co-dependency is a learned behavior and with the right mix of awareness of root causes, motivational acceptance and a well designed specific cognitive-behavioral plan, the road to recovery is definitely a paved and in fact enjoyable process.  

For more on this topic, including hands on practical approaches to implement in the mean time, you may visit us at

Leadership, Chameleon Style


Mind or Heart?

“Think before you act”. This is what we have heard all of our lives. Principles, dogma and models are designed to guide our thinking in avoiding mistakes. However, in truth, there is no model that has accuracy in the form of anything above a correlation. In other words, as the environment around us constantly changes, we are left with our intuitions, not served by the guarantees of models and modern science alone. In a very revolutionary study of molecular biology, Bruce Lipton Ph.D. was able to show that it is the communication within cells and in between cells that defines what takes place within cells.  In other words, even at a molecular and a cell level, awareness rather than biology was at work; “a cell was either in defense mode or in growth mode- It could not be in both at once.

Our thinking often times betrays us into making decisions that are limiting, disempowering, safe and disengaging, rather than growth oriented.


During the past two decades, there have been a series of studies, theories and discussions surrounding effective leadership, leadership styles, and the leader-follower mix called leader-member exchange theory.  At the heart of all of these theories is the concept that there is no one size fits all but also the concept of  Authentic Leadership, which I would like to emphasize as  mindful leadership. In an age where competition is global and technologies are quickly changing performance is obviously a big expectation.  However, when all said and done, as opposed to common belief, studies have found that “Leadership soft skills” are often why CEO’s get replaced not necessarily the bottom-line.  In my over 18 years of practice as an I/O psychologist and executive coach, I have been entrusted and privileged to coach many executives whom have believed they have done the “right thing”, taken the guidance of their superiors, acted according to company policy and what was expected of them and have come to face great turmoil, stress, and even a nervous breakdown.

It no longer surprises me but rather pains me to see the many examples of leaders who struggle in the attempt to be one way at work, while their “true” identity is different outside of work. I have in fact heard the same theme: “I am Type A and work and I am type B at home”. Or that “I have to act it, if I want to win it”. So why is it surprising when employee engagement survey after engagement survey comes back to haunt organizations with lowest scores on employees lack of trust in leadership.

Cognitive bias describes the inherent thinking errors that humans make in processing information. Band wagon bias, confirmation bias, mere exposure effect, congruency bias etc. are just a few examples of the various form of “tricks” are minds play on us. Some of these have been verified empirically in the field of psychology, while others are considered general categories of bias. However, over the centuries, our reliance on science and technology, models, theories and rationale have shown over and over that relying on hard data or our mind in decision-making does not guarantee results and neither does it win a following in leadership. In fact, our mind is colluded with previous experiences, pains, fears and judgments that cloud our judgment and make us aversive to making the right decisions. Our reptilian and mammalian brains (residing within the limbic system) are designed to stick to the status quo. Their primary task is self-preservation. In other words, our brains are wired to prioritize safety, so fear is what is naturally a focal point of our attention. So in essence, when we think, we “think” we are relying on our mental maps, or raw emotions to guide the process of decision-making and often times, these emotions are unrelated to the decision at hand.

What if I were to tell you that the secret to making smarter decisions could lie in emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a term used in psychology to signal the ability to identify and relate both to your emotions and the emotions of others.

According to a study by Stéphane Côté, a professor in the Rotman School of Management at the University of Toronto, Emotional Intelligence protects individuals from being guided by their cognitive biases.

In this study, published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers conducted a series of experiments to evaluate how different levels of emotional intelligence in various individuals, influenced their decision-making. In one such experiment, the researchers found that anxiety had a great effect on a decision involving risk with people measured to have lower emotional intelligence, when the anxiety had nothing to do with the decision at hand. On the other hand, this anxiety seemed to be blocked in people with high emotional intelligence.

The researchers were able to demonstrate that emotional intelligence had the ability to help guide many other emotions besides anxiety that were not just negative and instead focus on emotions that were positive such as excitement.  Furthermore, a 2008 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research also demonstrated that emotional intelligence had a strong role in decision-making by helping people realize their emotions.

It is of course thanks to some very discombobulated literature that the world of leadership and organization development seems to be misled. In an article written in Harvard Business Review, which is a highly regarded sources for many in management including myself, I was disturbed to find that Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones believed that “Authenticity is not the product of pure manipulation. It accurately reflects aspects of the leader’s inner self, so it can’t be an act. But great leaders seem to know which personality traits they should reveal to whom and when. They are like chameleons, capable of adapting to the demands of the situations they face and the people they lead”.

They go on to discuss a case regarding a man they called Bill who “could not mimic his superiors’ political savvy” in a utility company and “started to loose his way” and “alternated between indecision” hence was called a “failed leader”. What was confused here was the concept of politics and authenticity. The truth is that more often than not, organizations choose leaders because of their skill sets, including their intuitions and instinct and promote them for those same qualities, however when those same successful leaders get to a certain height in the organization and want to stick to their instincts as they always have, they are met with rebuttal and bias because they simply won’t bend. So no, Authentic leadership is not being a “chameleon” as Goffee and Gareth propose. In fact, that analogy does not even relate. Because science has shown that when chameleons change color, they are not adapting to their environment, they are displaying their moods/emotions in relationship to their environment and their emotions happen to influence the tint of their skin similar to us humans when we blush for example as a results of feeling embarrassed for example. In truth Authentic leadership is being true to yourself and true to the greater good. This is sometimes not necessarily the good of the powerful few.


The hard truth is that the corporate world supports the concept of putting on many faces, mixed agendas, expectations, quick judgments and lack of uniqueness and real expression. However, it is up to the individual, to support this notion.

Emotional intelligence training which directly ties in to the concept of authenticity, and mindfulness can be a guiding principle; a way of work and life.

Here are six everyday practices that can help guide your vision to continue to practice emotional intelligence and authentic living wherever:

  1. Take time everyday to listen to the chatter of your mind, record it, but then don’t decide through it. Instead listen to the quiet voice deep within which is your heart.
  2. Connect your heart, and your health in all your decisions.
  3. Lead with your values not your immediate thoughts or emotions; they are your essence and have been and will be always true to you.
  4. Connect with people from where they are, not from where you want them to be and allow the acceptance on both sides to guide the trust.
  5. Be guided toward your true potential by making all your decisions from the heart.
  6. Have a thirst for mystery and learning without fear and you will attract a following that highly regards character rather than reputation.



Farnaz Namin, Ph.D. is a psychologist, executive coach, speaker and bestselling author with the Center for Work Life. For insider tips and exclusive content join the newsletter at


                                                Leadership in Chaos                                                                    Photo Credit-courtesy of

Texas Church Shooting Leadership Lessons

As a generation Xer, there used to be a time when as an elementary school girl, I walked 10 miles from home to school, in the busy streets of a major city, walked back home, stopped by on the way home, bought a snack from my favorite snack shop with my money in my pocket for snacks, and got myself home with my own key to the house. I enjoyed the freedom and safety of learning, experiences and autonomy, as I grew in a very metropolitan and crowded city. Now, as a mom, I would not dream of having my children at 8 and 10 walk outside past our own street. We drive to most places during the week for school and extracurricular activities, and on weekends for events and fun outings. Driving, in my car gives me a sense of safety and security. However in reality, this is just an illusion. The truth is, the world has changed. Life has changed.   And in spite of the advents of technology, flooding of products from all over the globe, going well beyond meeting our basic needs, safety is in fact just an illusion.


Last weekend, on Sunday Nov. 5th, there was yet another horrific event that took place in our country. A shooting at a Texas church, killing 26 people, as young as 5 years old. That could have been any of us. There was a time where, churches similar to schools, were considered a sanctuary for people. Not anymore. Chaos is all around us, and as much as we want to ignore, blame, and shout at it, it is inevitable. It is in our homes. It is at our place of work. And it is even at our “sanctuaries”.

On a daily basis, the global economy, the growth of the population, and technology among many other variables continue to change the way our daily businesses are conducted.

Evidence of chaos is even more visible in the world of commerce and business as venture capitals, leverage buyouts and government bailouts continue to become the norm and layoffs ensue. There was a time when businesses could succeed as stable, bureaucratic and regulating institutions. The didactic, structure oriented processes were considered a key to performance and success. Involuntary Turnover and job loss were uncommon phenomenon.  In fact, the belief in order and structure crated the false notion that reorganizations were the key to productivity. Up to today, reorganizations are still very popular with the C-Suite. It has been found that nearly half of all CEO’s execute a reorganization within the first two years they join an organization. Regardless of the “reason”, these reorganzations are usually about immense structural changes in hope for better performance. In reality, according to a Bain & Co. study, out of the 57 reorganizations they studied, only one-third produced results; a profound mistake to completely buy-in to the idea that there is a link between structure and performance.


Beginnings of Chaos

Chaos Theory, which was most fully explored and recognized during the mid-to-late 1980s, has the premise that systems sometimes reside in chaos, they are constantly moving, but without any predictability or direction. According to Margaret J. Wheatley in Leadership and the New Science, “Chaos is the final state in a system’s movement away from order.” According to her, when a system does reach that point, the parts of a system are manifest as turbulence, totally lacking in direction or meaning.

When Chaos Theory was first implemented in to businesses in various forms, organization management also gave way to organization management. Agile methodologies were introduced as a way for modern corporations to be able to respond as markets expanded and technologies evolved.  And the evolution of high-functioning teams gave life to Members of effective teams to frequently recreate their roles depending on the needs of the team at a given point.

Embracing change therefore does not mean to necessarily try and predict every possibility and structure the organization accordingly to reach order. It is to lead with the idea that change is constant and chaos is the way of life.

Leadership Redone

When it comes to leadership, as a Human Capital Partner to Fortune companies and Leadership Coach to the C-Suite, I have worked with organizations to recognize that leadership in today’s world, is a game of balance between innovation and Emotional Intelligence, not a commandment as many see it. During times of turbulence, change, and chaos, I have often times seen more control, more structure, and more top down decision-making; a very fear-based thought process that usually ends in disengagement by followers. In today’s economy, leadership of organizations is no longer the management of day-to-day operations. It is rather, seeing the functioning of the organization as a unified system. Therefore rather than dissecting for causes in the organization for organizational problems, according to chaos theory, organizational patterns can be studies to find behavior patterns.

In working with organizations and leaders, I first start by having a value-based conversation around respect.  What is respectable to one defines their values, motivations and aspriations.  That provides a muriad of data with the identification of Pillars of Safety which is a guided exercise I practice to get at the heart of many automatic behaviors.  The assessment of  emotional intelligence ; Identifying emotions and uncovering blockages in thinking and behavior. In embracing change and innovation, rather than a hierarchical, process oriented dynamics, I help him or her to view their role as a catalyst and a support, rather than a perfect, all mighty and in control responsible party. We then drive toward allowing talent and employees to lead with their competencies, with autonomy, functionality, support and 360 degree feedback and effective communication. We therefore, allow the system to naturally organize itself.



Top Ten (10) Tips on Leadership In Times of  Unpredictability and Chaos


  1. Check your Emotions at the Door. One of the common misunderstandings about leadership is lack of fear. But if the opposite of fear is courage, we know courage is not the absence of fear, it is choosing to act with love in spite of fear. The reason one of the pillars of Emotional Intelligence is Self-awareness is largely because Emotion Regulation is a must part of not only living a healthy life, but difference making, business leader in the 21st century. Not admitting to fear, means not accepting yourself as a human being and that creates fear in your team. If you acknowledge your fear but show fortitude and strategy you are inviting trust and courage and unity. 
  2. Make aware rather than frighten. Yes, in uncertain times people do need communication of information, otherwise, they will assume and gossip. However, there are two types of information, the kind they can do something about, and the kind they cannot. Using the advents of neuroscience I work with my  leaders to do just that.  Rather than invoking fear, in engaging your team and activating their sense of empowerment, it is pertinent to Ignite the reward centers of the brain by tapping into the belongingness need. As human-beings if we feel scared, and insecure, we will feel hesitant to take action. But if we are made aware, we will be empowered and courageous.
  3. Talk less, do more. Often times, leadership becomes the generator of opinions and not the generator of action. Input that doesn’t add value, is not leadership. Instead it’s best to resort to responsibility. Sometimes resources may not be readily available or training may not be sufficient. Taking ownership and preparing to accept the challenge is a great tool for trust building and encouragement from a leader. Our brain’s frontal cortex associated with problem solving and decision-making has the capability to dissipate fear toward best performance, if we rise above the reptilian and the mammalian parts of the brain associated with survival.
  4. Mobilize and utilize. We have all heard of the phrase “Analysis paralysis”. There are so many different ways we problem-solve, process information, communicate,  etc.  The power of a team is in it’s synergy and ability to utilize all of it diverse talent.  There are the communicators, analyzers, and creatives etc.  For example, creative and analytic types in teams, will feel more energized, hopeful and joyful when they can do just that, analyze. Rather than get busy without knowledge. Utilize this group to team up to gain knowledge and insight quickly.  Google did just that and look where they are today.  Strategize and Make a Move. Different personalities have a propensity for analyzing decisions more than others and prefer to delay decisions as much as possible. Learning when not to postpone decisions, when you are naturally aiming for perfection, and waiting for additional information, could mean failure. It takes an opposite personality or a coach to help you bounce off ideas so you can decide to do what you need to do with what you have, and don’t look back. Indecisiveness is the surest way to undermine credibility. 
  5. Lead with Inclusion, not diversity. During the past centuries, we have gone from segregation, to diversity but not necessarily to inclusion. Diversity seems like a forced mentality. A thought that by its mere existence casts doubt on reality. Diversity is all around us. We need only to learn to be inclusive. Leading with inclusion would invite different thinking, culture, skills, experience and innovation rather than simply standardization of the same old.
  6. Be a Connector. A leader takes the time to get to know the talent in the organization. Walking among the people and learning about their world. Communication failure, is most often the key to organization effectiveness and disengagement. So elimination of silo’s and physical space and internal networking opportunities throughout is they key to building connections among people and leadership. In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell describes connectors as “multipliers who help create relationships between people”.
  7. Innovate, Don’t Dictate.  In uncertain times, arrival of new information often times means a challenge to the previous plan. Keeping an open mind to problem-solve with all levels of the team, encouraging creativity and innovation, rather than added control or measures to increase certainty will allow room for adoption of better solutions as they arise. The goal is to move forward at the best pace possible.
  8. Be an example of team not just a leader of it. During chaos, servant-leadership is the only leadership model that truly inspires a team, because it demonstrates that we are all in it together. To do this, you must stay consistent no matter how big or small the acts or tasks. That means no special treatment.
  9. Be Humble and honest. Much of the old leadership mentality is “no apologies”, “not admitting to mistakes” and certainly no “I don’t knows”. This is not confidence it is actually fear. Fear of not being adequate, not being taken seriously. In truth, people trust those leaders that they can trust, not those who are know it alls. Nobody knows all things, all of the time. So let the ego out the door, and be honest. If you don’t know something, tell them. The thing about ego is it goes both ways. You act with fear, you get fear in return; in reflection, acting based on ego, your team will not come to you with what they know or don’t know.



Following the Sunday mass shooting at the church, in response to President Trump’s tweet in that the shooting is a “mental health problem”, Puente said firearms restrictions for people with a history of domestic violence, substance abuse disorders and other high-risk groups have been shown to reduce gun violence. He went on to say that “Calling this shooting a ‘mental health problem’ distracts our nation’s leaders from developing policies and legislation that would focus on preventing gun violence through a scientific, public health approach.” Both suggesting point to control, regulation and division. Neither is actionable. Neither is working with chaos. Both comments are divisive as one blames the mentally ill, and the other Gun owners. Meanwhile the chaos continues to consistently move forward. Don’t we owe the victims and their loved ones more than simple statements of “the problem”?

One of the most influential business writers of the 1980s and 1990s, Tom Peters in his book Thriving on Chaos wrote “we live in a world turned upside down, and survival depends on embracing revolution.”

The most successful leaders understand that it is not the organization or the individual who is most important, but the relationship between the two. Guns are not going anywhere and neither is mental illness. Working as a society to accept both entities and learn to innovatively work with both is going with the times. Rather than constant blaming, accusing, and attacking, we can begin by accepting diversity of thought, culture, skills, experience and yes mental health. Design conversations around all layers of the population, and all groups. In truth, by doubting, blaming, and assuming members of society, we are creating more of the same and manifesting more fear, more pain and more threat. Hope is only in acceptance and in inclusion and that is what a leader brings to the table.




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