About Emotional Intelligence

What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?

Emotional intelligence is one’s ability to perceive and understand both his or her emotions and the emotions of others…

Emotional Intelligence Coaching

Quick links:
The Validity of Emotional Intelligence
Elements of Emotional Intelligence
Social Intelligence and the Common Struggles for Individuals Dealing with EI Issues
How Does Emotional Intelligence Effect Me?
Building Emotional Intelligence
Take the Emotional Intelligence Self-Test
Consequences of Low EI
Can Emotional Intelligence be Taught?
Emotional Intelligence Class Emotional IQ or better said EQ is a measure of how you relate to yourself and others and it a great determinant of outcomes on your performance, leadership skills, and even earning potential.
Read on for more emotional intelligence information…

Or if you’re ready for training… Get started today!

 

The Validity of Emotional Intelligence

It was Daniel Goleman who first brought the term  EQ “emotional intelligence” to a wide audience with his 1995 book of that name, and it was Goleman who first applied the concept to business with his 1998 HBR article. In his research at nearly 200 large, global companies, Goleman found that while the qualities traditionally associated with leadership—such as intelligence, toughness, determination, and vision—are required for success, they are insufficient. Truly effective leaders are also distinguished by a high degree of emotional intelligence, which includes self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill.  The great proof for the importance of emotional intelligence as a whole and specially within the workplace comes from many years of research into successful organizations and successful people.  The ability to connect and continue long-lasting relationships is even more important today than it has ever been because competition, technology and strategic planning all require excellent customer service and strong customer service, comes from strong teams and organizations.

 Emotional Intelligence 2.0

In their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Bradberry et. al. discuss that it’s no secret that EQ is critical to your success. But knowing what emotional intelligence is and knowing how to use it to improve your life are two very different things, and we have a detailed designed program to help you use EI to the max.

Ready to make progress with emotional intelligence? Get started today!

 

Elements of Emotional Intelligence

In life, we go through a wide array of personal conflicts.  We all have our “shining moments” and these are times when we are in alignment and know and behave according to our best abilities.  But realistically, moments of peace are far and between and often times responsibilities and peace act as  opposite forces in our lives.  Social norms often times reward behaviors that are not in support of long-term success, and it seems as if authenticity and empathy and people skills are sacrificed to short-term gains.  Ironically, it is during times of stress that we especially need to perform at our best and practicing the principles of emotional intelligence will provide that leverage and support to not only have a win-win negotiation, but also to bring people to your side, and feel at peace with decisions.   An emotionally intelligent individual is able to stay true to their goals, emotions and processes that fit within their own meta-frame and that of their organization.   an emotionally intelligent individual is able to:

a.  Be self-aware of not only their thoughts and emotions, but also their challenges during period of  

      stress or due to their background, personality or possible psychological disorder

b.  Having that knowledge the individual is able to have self-regulation and watch for pitfalls

c.  Have an internal drive toward optimism and problem-solving in tough times

d.  Practice empathy toward themselves, their interpersonal relaionships or their team 

e.  Have the ability to build rapport with others, leading to team cohesiveness and leader-follower communication effectiveness

The process of coaching, or that of Emotional Intelligence Training is not designed for “bad” people.  On the contrary, the top performers we work with here at Center for Work Life are outstanding people, successful leaders and business owners, invariably in the top two percent of their organizations.  The urgency is that they are held back by the conflict between external goals and their internal values.  In training emotional intelligence, we utilize a unique Emotional Intelligence Test to get a preliminary view of where you or your team member(s) are and design a customized program consisting of 12 dimensions to address your highest deficiencies.

Emotional Intelligence Coaching

Social Intelligence and the Common Struggles for Individuals Dealing with EI Issues

1.  Do not recognize emotions in themselves as quickly as they need, and

     when they do, they either don’t express them or express them too

      harshly.

2.  Miss cues in the environment from significant others such as supervisors, coworkers, partners, children etc. because they are hyperfocused on “tasks” they believe are important.

3.  Have been socialized to believe “hard skills” are more important, and hence have never been really 

      taught to use their emotions effectively.

3.  Are aware of their challenges one way or another, but don’t have the tools to change them.

 

How Does Emotional Intelligence Effect You?

Ever wonder, why the coworker, employee, executive or business owner you didn’t think was the most qualified applicant, got the promotion, the job of your dreams, or the best sales record?  If hard work and perseverance was all it took to get to the top, then why are there so many executives laid off on a daily basis and so many businesses shutting down? Yes, the times are tough, and economically there is less circulating, but the truth is in order to grow, we have to evolve first.

Apple, Southwest Airlines, Google, Infosys, Disney, Whole Foods, Fed Ex and a growing number of other companies are systematically “mining” the workforce in search of emotionally intelligent individuals. These organizations realize that those people are the primary source of their success. They are proving that the path to superior business results is through the development of the emotional intelligence within their organizations.

Building Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence capabilities have been shown to increase results far more than IQ or technical/academic expertise. And this is regardless of age.  Whether for adults or for children, studies have shown it typically takes an IQ of 110-120 to get an advanced degree like an MBA which focuses primarily on left brain cognitive abilities. There is a high selection pressure for IQ to enter the executive ranks within corporations and relatively little variation among those who are in those ranks. But there has been little or no selection pressure when it comes to emotional intelligence. And so, there is a much wider range of EI variation among individuals. Superiority in these capabilities counts far more than IQ when it comes to performance. Within companies actively engaged in organizational change, emotional intelligence has become the key hiring and promotional consideration. Apple is the world’s first trillion dollar company.

Employee emotional intelligence has been found to be directly correlated with organization success.  From leadership, to employee to customer, the cycle is a direct and positively planned process.Whether resulting in high turnover, low sales, or low morale, whenever we are analyzing the organization, we are witness to it.  Emotionally Intelligent leadership can make or break an organization, but when assessing needs, often times, frivolous marketing and advertising campaigns, sponsorships, and downsizing efforts are wrongfully regarded as investments rather than emotional intelligence development.

Ready to make progress with emotional intelligence? Get started today!

 

 

 

Take the Emotional Intelligence Self-Test

 

 

Here is a Quick and Easy EQ Self-Evaluation:

Unless you put yourself to the test, or hold yourself accountable, you will never know.  Most people don’t like to give negative feedback.  Want to gain a little insight, here is a short Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire:

Often times, there is a misconception that we work with psychopaths, misfits, and jerks.  Our clients are not different from the most outstanding people in your organization and your circle.  In actuality, they are no different from you, except perhaps in that unlike many people they have made the choice to learn about their road blocks, and have made the commitment to use this awareness and turn it in to growth.  That slight variant ends up making a very significant difference in their career, and their life.

For example, when dealing with people, there are certain common faults which although rarely come to one’s attention, in groups alienate people, and eat away slowly but surely at the possibility of  long-term growth and sustaining success.

-They are not flaws of skill.  Skills are taught in classrooms and by instructors.  Once you have the skill, you will need to apply it. But how you get along with your teammates and how you play nice will determine how far you get with the skill.

-They are not flaws of intelligence.  This is something you were born with and can’t change.

-They are not flaws of personality.  There is no such thing as a “bad” personality.  There are bad habits.  We are all born with different types of personalities.  But we still have to play nice.

What these challenges are, are habits in interpersonal behavior, but more so in leadership behavior.  These are the conflict sources, headaches and miscommunications, that make your workplace, your family life, and your career more noxious than it needs to be.

Ready to make progress with emotional intelligence? Get started today!

 

How Do You know if someone you know has Low Emotional Intelligence?

Consequences of Low EI on the Individual and their Circle

The Individual:

  • Doesn’t take responsibilities for his/her feelings because they don’t realize the damage they are causing and instead blames others for failed relationships.
  • Can’t put together three word sentences starting with “I feel…”
  • Can’t tell you why he/she feels the way he/she does, or can’t do it without blaming someone else.
  • Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges others calling them too “emotional”.
  • Tries to analyze others when they express their feelings.
  • Often begins sentences with “I think you…”Ex – I think you need to.. I think you should…
  • Sends “you messages” disguised as “I feel messages” For example, “I feel like you ….”
  • Closes up during conflict and avoids difficult conversations.
  • Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
  • Exaggerates or minimizes the importance of his/her feelings.
  • Lets things build up inside, then they blow up, react strongly to something relatively minor or engage in risky behaviors.
  • Seems like they lack integrity and a conscienceness.
  • Doesn’t move from one conflict to another with resolve, and therefore sarries grudges and seems  unforgiving.
  • Doesn’t tell you where you really stand with him/her.
  • Is uncomfortable to be around because it is hard to connect with them.
  • Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
  • Beats around the bush, plays games; is indirect or evasive.
  • Acts insensitive to others feelings.
  • Seems like they have no empathy, or compassion for others.
  • Is rigid, inflexible; clings to “responsibilities”, “time constraints”,  “rules and structure” to avoid feeling.
  • Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
  • Does not consider your feelings before acting.
  • Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
  • Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
  • Avoids responsibility by saying things like: “What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
  • Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
  • May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others’ joys.
  • Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others’ legitimate fears.
  • Doesn’t notice the need for change althought he/she Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
  • Locks him/her self into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
  • Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
  • Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
  • Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can’t tell you how he/she feels about it.
  • Regardless of numerous conflicts and factual data, forgets the chain of events and repeats same patterns.
  • Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others’ feelings.
  • Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated. Focusses on “facts” rather than feelings.

Can Emotional Intelligence be Taught?

How Can EI Training Help Me?


At the Center for Work Life, we are often asked if the leaders we coach can actually change their behavior. This is where Emotional Intelligence Training comes into play. Our answer is that  as we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.  In reality, it is hard to find successful people who embody too many of these flaws, otherwise they would have been held back before even entering the coliseum of success.  Hence,  we can hone in on the task of achieving long-term results by focusing on the few changes.

The faults are not impossible to correct.  The fix is in the skill set of every human being.  But as busy leaders, most just lose sight of the many daily opportunities to employ them, and hence need our expertise to hold them accountable.


Emotional Intelligence Class

Want to see for yourself? Have a team, or board that you want to take to the top, but are not quite ready to enroll? or may be your are considering challenging yourself.  We offer a full-hour interactive class at your location with however many you would like in the room, where we assess your group, without invasively measuring their skills.  If you are not amazed, we part ways and you have just received a full-hour of training free of charge and no obligations.

 

 

Ready to make progress? Get started today!

 

 

Center for Work Life of Orlando, Florida is an award-winning executive development firm providing leadership and management training to executives and organizations. Our main services include executive coaching, leadership development, executive succession planning, emotional intelligence training, career planning, staff development, and communication in the workplace.

Needs and topics addressed within these categories include: management styles, situational leadership, developing leadership qualities, executive recruitment training, work life balance, emotional intelligence training,  work performance, stress management in the workplace, stress management activities, time management activities, team development, problem solving activities, management consulting training programs, professional communication, assertive communication coaching, interpersonal skills for top performers, effective communication styles,  communication techniques, public speaking skills, presentation skills, and conflict management strategies.

Effective Public Speakers can be difficult to find, but Center for Work Life has that covered too. As a leadership, communications, and change management speaker, Dr. Farnaz Namin- Hedayati of Center for Work Life raises the bar in interactive presentations. We can also help companies conduct organization research and run focus groups. 

Photo Credit: Sylvain Kalache

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